Luis Guzmán

This guy is the Puerto Rican king of facial furniture. The grand champion of the goatee. A master of the follicle arts.

Luis Guzmán.

I’ll bet you didn’t even notice him here on the blog did you?  He’s a goateed, hairy, plump ninja. Whenever I see him in something, it’s one of those “Where the hell did he come from!?” moments. Seriously, He just sneaks up on you. One minute you’re watching Calista Flockhart slowly evaporate on-screen, and without blinking an eye, she transforms into Luis Guzmán. Whether you like it or not, you’ve got a 1 in 3 chance of seeing him in whatever movie you watch next. Comedies: Yeah, he’s done those. Gangster movies: Yup. Thrillers: Indeed. Horrible Disney Chihuahua movies: Yes, those too. We all have to make a living you know and a goatee can be a financially draining hobby.

Not convinced yet?  How about Boogie Nights? How about his role as sidekick in The Limey? How about the batwing? He even had a cameo in the 80’s slab of awesomeness TV series The Equalizer. The only thing that’s missing from his beard-career is an Old Spice commercial. Someone needs to fix that. Please. Seriously. Bruce Campbell has nothing on this guy.

Luis Guzmán’s goatee is the finishing touch. The Bootsy Collins to Parliament Funkadelic. The Peter Venkman to Ghostbusters. The mixed nuts to a good beer. Give this man his props. He brings the Beardfunk.

Luis Guzmán; Goatee Rating: A